for her

AN OPEN LETTER FOR MY LITTLE SISTER…

Hi! I know these days I usually getting mad at you and didn’t talk to you well. And I felt sorry for you. I may not say this but, I want to apologize always every time we fight or argue or I’m getting mad at you. You cannot blame me, you are so stubborn. You didn’t drink your medicine daily; you didn’t follow mom’s rules and advices. You become so stubborn and disrespectful especially to mom. This is making me getting mad at you. I already accepted the fact that mom and I can’t trust you in house works. But, please, just make yourself better; make yourself okay. We, and especially me, see that you started to ruin your life… little by little. I think, in my age right now, I experienced more than you. That’s why I want to tell you all about it, as an advice. I don’t want you to do that, because we love. I love you.

           But somehow, I can’t blame you either. You are sick. We should always consider your feelings. That’s the number advice of the doctor. More patience please. You’ve been mentally sick because of the things in your life we definitely didn’t know. So, sometimes, I realize that, maybe I am really wrong? I should let you do that, because that’s make you happy. That’s make you heal. We are not the same person, I forgot. Why did I always keep telling you what you should do in your life, when you have your own brain and mind to decide? We usually forgot that you’ve been struggling to the things we didn’t know. But we keep insisting on telling you what you should do… without asking what you feel. We are so focus on how can we protect you on getting hurt by the world, not realizing that we are the first one to hurt you. Not realizing that you are human too, you’ll get hurt anyway no matter what. And for that I am really, really sorry If I’m not a good big sister to you. These days, we are more open and widely awake about the issue about mental health… that we should be more considerate to those people having this kind of problem, but we make an exemption on you. We didn’t consider your feelings, your health, you.

          

          Be, you might actually feel sad and mad at us because of what we are doing but, sorry, that’s our way of protecting you. You didn’t know mom struggling on how to buy your medicines because our money is short. Her sacrifices just to make you drink your medicine every night. I might actually getting mad in every wrong actions you did at home, but at the end of the day I am always here to cover up that. I am telling what you should do, not just because for us to lessen the works but especially to you to learn. So that, when you become independent you can stand on your own. Gosh! You didn’t know how excited I am to tell you what I have learned in life at my age. You didn’t how much I wanted to remind you that life is so tough. That is why you should be tougher. I wanted to tell you everything coz I know it became so hard on me concurring my struggles in real world. And I have no big sister to remind me of that. I wanted to tell you, especially I know how fragile you are. I just wanted to protect you to the monster real world. We, your family, know you so much that, we did this for you to not be hurt as much as we hurt. Because you are our precious one, we don’t want to repeat the hurt we saw on you when you get sick. We don’t want to lose you. We truly love you. I love you. Please take care of yourself not for others or for us, but for you.

                                                                                        

                                                                                              Love,

                                                                                                Ate