Love Languages...

 

“EL-EL”

         Did you know what is your Love Language? Love Language is things that makes our felt and appreciates someone we like or love. Those things make us like or love them even more. There are five (5) common love languages, Act of Service; Words of Affirmation; Quality Time; Gifts and lastly, Physical Touch. Do you want to find out what is your love languages? I will give some examples that can be your basis to identify your love language based on a given situations.

 

         *Act of Service

          It was your Foundation on your school, you planned to run in comfort room because you see your crush marrying someone in Wedding Booth. But sadly, there so many people along the way, that’s why you decided to go in opposite sex’s CR. There, you bumped into someone you know, and he noticed that you’re about to cry not minding entering their CR. On your shocked, he followed you, he not let you cry all alone and my gosh! He even played sad song and said, “wait. Okay, cry now.” And since you find it funny, you can’t cry now. The purest and innocent comforting, I think.

 

          You’re going to your friend’s house, and you forgot to bring umbrella. The sky was about to rain. Yes, just got lucky, the water started to pour, and you run as much as you can, but the drop started to become large, so you decided to stop. There you saw someone, offering to share his umbrella with you. Since there’s no one on that road and it became creepy, you agreed, and it was the longest awkward moment you’ve ever had but “kilig” also with good stranger. Like, a stranger offered me to share his umbrella?! FUDGEEE!!!

 

          My brother and I went to mall. And we rode a bus to get there. When we decided to get off on it, my kuya get off first. Then, when it’s my turn the bus suddenly move that almost caused me to be stumbled. So, my kuya got angry to the bus driver for being too hurry. Lowkey protective sibling, check!

 

           One day before your board exam, it’s one of your friend’s birthdays. Obviously, you didn’t come. Then, they send you a video containing their messages wishing you luck for your exam the next day. That’s September 24 , 2017, Sunday.

 

            When you don’t know what to do on your workloads then someone offered to help you. Saying that he knows how many workloads you have so he did it for you. Like, my gosh! You really do help me! Life Saver of the Day! Much appreciated!!

 

            When there is situation where in you’re not around. And someone tried to badmouth you jokingly and one of the people knows you well is there, stand for you and tried to defend your name. *Whispering: thank you*

    

           *Words of Affirmations

           When someone said to you that,” you’re one of the most positive people she could ever meet”. Hey friend, I know I’m not perfect but thank you for appreciating me.

 

           It was your board exam day, and you finished the first half of exam. The first thing you do is open your cellphone and there are 2 new messages. The first message said, “Good luck, child. Don’t be so nervous. You can do it. Always pray. Love you!” The second one said, “Hi, be good luck on your exam. Just remember that we are proud of you no matter what.” And there, your heart melted. The nervous you’ve been hiding for hours started to show and you’ve cried on CR because you’re touched to those messages! The first message is from your mom and the second one is from your friend.

 

           Result Day of your Board Exam, you are feeling lazy because any time the result may come. And you know, you didn’t do well on the exam day. But still, it’s Monday so you need to go to your work. You tried to avoid the topic about it. Then, after lunch, your co-teacher rush coming to your room telling you that the result came out because one of your friends texted you this, “hey, girl! Reactivate your facebook. You passed the Exam! Congratulations!!” And so, you decided to open my messenger and so many messages congratulating you. Days before the result posted, you already said to your friends that you can’t dare to look on the result coz it will just disappointment you. You decided also to deactivate your facebook because you will be just envying the others that passed the exam. This is one of the sweetest and purest messages you’ve ever received!

 

           When you’ve decided to start loving yourself and improve yourself just for you. Then one of your friends said this, “No, you’re beautiful. And I really admire your confidence level especially now and how lighthearted you are.” You boosted my confidence! Love you, girl!

 

           When your friend randomly sent you this quote, “never stop being a good people because of bad one” and said, “you know whenever I read this you are the first person that comes to my mind.” Like, really?!

 

           You and your friend buy street foods then suddenly your friend called you saying, “hey! Come here, listen to the song.” So, you did and you heard your favorite song- Only Hope. “Aw! How did you know?” you asked, “you said it. I remember”, he said. Omg! Small things matter.

 

          *Gifts

 

           When someone tried to give you gift in front of your class. Announcing it like a proposal. It made you so embarrassed but at the same time, “kilig’ of course! And he even put it on your arm. Shocks! What is this ring?! Joke! HAHAHAHA But still, unforgettable one. Joke! THIS IS HYPHOTETICAL!!!

 

            You don’t like too many gifts. Instead, you Love to give gifts if you can. But when someone really gave, you appreciated it so much. That’s too precious to handle!!

 

            I cried the whole night because I can’t upload my project online for not having laptop. The next day, my parents go somewhere. And when they got home, they bought me laptop so that I will never cry anymore. I’m blessed for having a like them parents!

 

            And that’s it. If you’re asking why it doesn’t have “Quality Time” and “Physical Touch”, it because I didn’t experience it yet. Joke! It’s because it’s already 2:38 in the morning and my eyes can’t handled it anymore. So, I ended up here! Hope you get some tips. And if you’re hoping for PART 2 of this, just don’t forget to LIKE, FOLLOW and Reacts to this. LOLS

 

WARNING: THIS CONTAINS HYPOTHETICAL SITUATIONS. NO LIVING THINGS HARMED. ONLY ME. JOKE AGAIN. This purely FICTIONAL. *Sarcastically Speaking*

emotionssss

 

“Acknowledge Your Emotions”

 

                    I said that I really love the book of Mitch Albom, Tuesdays With Morrie. But, I forgot one lesson of Morrie that we should acknowledge what we feel, even if it’s good or bad emotions. And that is okay. I forgot that. I forgot that we are all just human. We can’t control our feelings.

 

                   I grew up on an extended and not so perfect family. And I don’t know, I think one of my signature traits is being full of positive thoughts towards everything around me. I believe that all the people in world always have their good sides. Even though he can be the meanest person you’ve ever known, I really believe that he has his good side… we just must wait for it. But things really won’t be easy on this called - LIFE. How it possible that this four-letter-words are not easy to survive? Morrie’s right. School teaches us wrong that the world is beautiful. Because no, it’s not. Life is messy. World is complicated. Life doesn’t want my signature trait to always appear anytime I want. I don’t like the feeling that I always feel negative in all the things around me. I feel like I messed up. I feel like everything is falling apart. It breaks me. It hurts me. It made me cry. I hate it. I feel like this is not me anymore. That is not the usual me. I know I’m one of those most understanding people you could ever know. But suddenly, I feel like I’m changing. This is strange.

 

                      It turns out that this strange feeling is not strange, it is called normal or natural to human like me. Maybe, I’m too cheerful that I get blinded on my own beliefs. And now, everything becomes clearer. I guess, I’m wrong. No, I’m definitely wrong. The world is messy and so life, and if I keep this toxic positivity that I had, I will get swayed in my journey. There I remember, what Morrie said, that we should acknowledge every emotion we will feel. Not because you feel sad doesn’t mean you shouldn’t feel it. Emotions are meant to be felt and so pain. Don’t worry it will not last forever. Remember? There are lots of emotions in the world you will feel it all. And oh, lastly, don’t forget that we’re supposed to change for our own goods.

pag-amin...

 

“CONFESSION”

It wasn’t a love at first sight thingy; Or famous meets unpopular story. It’s just a cliché unrequited kind of love that will never be known by the person I love.

 

                       It doesn’t need to be loud. It doesn’t need to be proud. It doesn’t need to be mutual. It doesn’t always about just feelings. When you finally, hit by this… you can’t turn it back and go to the start easily. Four-letter-word but can be magical as Fairy God Mother in Fairytales. I swallow what I’ve said when this thing hit me. Like, I break all my walls because I started to like someone whose out of my league.

                        I said, I will never ever let him know about it. I can’t imagine myself confessing to others how I feel about them. I’m too coward to do it. I’m too scared of rejections even though, I expected it from the start. I feel like I’m too weak to hear it loud and clear from him. But some realizations sudden changed my mind. I mean, why not? I did tell him! Finally, well in my “me” way of confessing. Sincere and true but not loud and proud. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be proud of me being in love. But I will just do that if it’s a mutual feelings. And since it’s not, low key confession suits this.

                       The goal is for him to know what I felt. And I guess, I did it or we did it? Anyway it doesn’t matter, it’s enough that he already knew, and I didn’t get any answer on it. Considered it as it’s “no”, self. You become brave! Proud of you, my love. You can freely forget about him, slowly and surely. You don’t need to rush. You already said what you felt, that’s all that matter.

papa

 

“The First Man who Broke My heart”

 

                  It was something like these; love at first sight. Tears of joy, I love him and he loves me unconditionally without anything matters. That he is willing to give me everything I need and take good care of me. We have the real connection not anyone can have; that only the two of us can understand. Or maybe a words and feelings I can’t never ever describe. We have the thing as valuable as gold that can’t take away by anyone.

 

                He is the first man I ever love. The first man I ever admire. The first man who came into my life and knows me well more than any man can be. The man I will always be willing to understands and understands me. The first man who will always protects and guides me. The first man that will do anything just to makes me happy. The man that is my mother’s true love and our forever first love. The man who promise to spend all his life with us.

 

              But, it turns out that, that man is not perfect. It turns out that the first man I ever love all of my life, will going to hurt us. That he can make a mistakes and he can fail. He failed us. He hurt his true love, his wife, our mother. And so we are. He hurt all of us. He failed us and broke our hearts. He badly hurt his wife, that much that broke our heart into pieces. It so sad that the very first man we really love, broke our hearts. Although, we already accepted his apology, sometimes, we still have trust issues.

same page, same book...

 “PAREHO NG PAHINANG BINABASA”

“Ano ka ba? Balang araw matatagpuan mo din yung taong nasa pareho mo ng pahina at pareho kayo ng librong binabasa. Hindi mo kailangang hintayin.Pahinga mo muna iyang puso mo. Madalas, dumadating iyon sa di mo inaasahang pagkakataon. ”

Sa tinagatagal-tagal ko nang nabubuhay sa mundong ito. Sa dami-dami ng tindahan ng libro o library na pinuntahan ko. Sa dami ng nobela o kwentong nabasa ko, wala pa din talaga akong matagpuan na suwak para sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung nabasa ko na ba o napuntahan ko na? o baka pinakawalan ko lang at hindi nakita? Kaya ayun, nawala na nga. Pero hindi! Hindi ba ang sabi nila kapag ayun na iyon, mararamdaman mo? Kapag ayun na iyon, hindi mo iyon palalagpasin o pakakawalan? At kung sakaling, hindi ko nga sinasadyang napakawalan… naniniwala akong tadhana ang gagawa ng paraan para mapasaakin iyon… kasi nga iyon ay nakatadhana para lang sa akin. Kasi nga, iyon yung makakatagpo ko sa parehong pahina, sa parehong librong aming binabasa.

Ang dami ko nang pinuntahan, ang dami ko nang inalisan. Naiwan, naghabol, tumakbo pa pabalik, naghintay. Wala pa din. Puro, isang upuan o biruan, tawanan, tapos sa huli, paiiyakin ka, sasakatan ka at ayun, ending part na! Nakatapos na naman ako ng isang libro pero wala pa ding nakasabay, wala pa ding nakakatagpo. Sabi ng kaibigan ko, wag ko daw kasing hintayin, wag ko daw habulin o hanapin. Kasi, kusa daw iyong dadating para sa akin. Hala! Naglalakad ba ang libro? Joke! Pero pwera biro, sa dinami-dami ng mga mambabasang katulad ko, wala ba talagang para sa akin? O sadyang mainipin lang ako at napepressure sa mga nakikita sa mundo? Pinagdasal ko na din naman siya kay Bathala. Pero baka kaya hindi ko din matagpuan kasi hindi pala katulad kong libro ang hawak? Hay! Ang gulo naman. Napapagod na ako!

Makikisabay na lang siguro ako sa agos ng buhay. Baka kaya hindi rin dumadating kasi naiinip ako… kasi iba ang tinitignan ko. Ito na lang ang gusto kong mangyari kung sakaling dumating siya. Sana iyong taong makakatagpo ko sa iisang pahina… sana pareho kami ng librong binabasa, at sana ako yung leading lady sa librong iyon. Hindi mahalaga kung sa umpisang pahina niya ako natagpuan o nagkita kami sa gitna o kahit sa hulihan. Ang importante, nagtapo kami. Ang importante masaya ako, kami. Kasi sobrang tama ng lahat. Kasi nagkita kami sa iisang pahina, kasi pareho na kami ng librong binabasa.

-eyr

damn...

 "DAMN-D-AMIN”

“Ayun ang masakit na katotoohan ng damdamin, ginawa upang ating maramdaman.”

“Kung ito ay isa lamang nararamdaman, bakit nagagawa nitong mabago ang takbo ng buhay ko?”

Naniniwala ka bang lahat ng bagay sa mundo ay may itinadhanang gagawin kaya ito nalikha? Na hindi gagawa si Bathala ng isang bagay na walang halaga; oo lahat iyan ay may halaga, lahat iyan ay may dahilan at pagagamitan. Katulad na lang ng pagkain. Bakit ba ginawa ang pagkain? Upang may kainin ng mga tao at mabuhay. Bakit may damit? Upang may proteksyon sa katawan ng mga tao. Bakit tayo pumapasok sa paaralan? Upang matuto ng marami pang bagay, at etc. Napakadaming bagay na nalikha ang may kanya-kanyang itinadhanang gagawin… pero, may isang bagay akong naguguluhan ang halaga- ang damdamin. Bakit nga ba nagawa ang damdamin? Ano nga ba talaga ang itinadha nitong gagawin?

Sabi nila ginawa ang damdamin upang sabihin at ipakita. Ginawa ang damdamin upang iparamdam at maramdaman. Kaya masaya? Kaya nakakatuwa? Kaya nakakalito? Kaya nakakalungkot? Kaya nakakasakit? Kaya nakakadismaya? Kaya umiiyak? Ang damdamdamin daw ginawa upang sabihin? Pero bakit may mga taong takot o duwag at hindi maamin ang tunay nilang nararamdaman? Kasi natatakot sa kahihinatnan na baka masaktan lang sila sa hulihan. Hindi naisip ng mga taong iyon, na nasasakatan na din naman sila nang araw palang na pinili nilang hindi aminin ang kanyang nararamdaman at maging malabo na lamang ang lahat. Ang damdamin daw ay dapat ipinapadama? Pero bakit marami sa atin ang itinatago ang tunay nilang nararamdaman para sa taong mahalaga sa kanila? Kasi alam nilang hindi naman masusuklian ang damdaming ibibigay nila sa taong iyon? Pero hindi nila naisip na hindi naman iyon ang mahalaga. Hindi mahalaga kung naibalik niya ang parehong nararamdaman, dahil hindi natin pag-aari ang nararamdaman niya. Ang totoong mahalaga, ang nararamdaman natin sa ating sarili. Wala namang nagbawal sa atin na mahalin ang taong hindi tayo ang gusto. Kaya magmahal ka hanggat gusto mo. Walang sinuman ang makakapigil nito kung hindi ang sarili mo. Ginawa daw ang damdamin upang maramdaman. Ah, kaya masakit. Kaya nakakadurog ng puso kaya pilit kumakawala ang mga luha sa mga mata.

Sa dami ng kahulugan o dahilan kung bakit nagawa ang itong damdamin, ito lang ang natutunan ko. Ang damdamin ay mapusok. Ang damdamin, hindi natin nakikita pisikal, pero nagagawa nitong makontrol tayo, na kahit anong pilit nating isipin na wag maramdaman ang damdamin ayaw natin maramdaman- hindi ganoon kadaling pigilan. Na hindi natin mapipili ang nais nating maramdaman sa isang tao o sa isang sitwasyon. Kaya nitong makasira o makabuo ng isang relasyon. Hindi nakikita ng ating mga mata, pero sobrang nakakapagpasaya o nakakapagpasakit ng kalooban.

Kaya lang minsan, nakakagago lang din ang damdamin. Nakokonsensya dahil nakasakit ka pero dahil ang totoo, nasasaktan ka din dahil hindi mo na naipaliwanag ng buo ang nararamdaman mo. Naiinis ka dahil hindi mo magawang alisin o limutin o wag isipin ang nararamdaman mo para sa isang tao, dahil sa likod ng iyong utak, umaasa ka pa ding baka may posibilidad nga- kahit alam mong malinaw pa sa sikat ng araw na wala nga. Nakakagago hindi ba? Ito talaga ay isang malaking DAMN-D-AMIN!!!

04.08.21

2020...

 AN OPEN LETTER TO MYSELF I’VE BEEN THIS 2020

 

           You did a great job this year, self! It was really a job well done, surviving this tough year, congratulations!

 

             You started this year with a big smile in your face knowing that what you’ve been through last 2019 will be finally paid off. You are enthusiastic that your silent battles last year will be wash off because you can get the fruit of it this year. But, life is really do unfair and unpredictable.

 

               You started to feel down and sad because things really doesn’t goes by your favor. Your plans, travels, and many stuffs you wanted to do canceled. Because of that unpredictable pandemic. The whole world is crying and so you are. You started again to doubt yourself, like last year. You started to isolate yourself to many people because you felt that your progress stopped here.

 

               But girl, you are strong! Life maybe tough but so you are! You never let those sadness and anxiety eat you. You are grateful to Mitch Albom who shared his teacher’s thought, Prof. Morrie, that “dedicate yourself to creating that gives you purpose and meaning”; that “the most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in”, on his book Tuesdays with Morrie… it is really gives you hope to know your purpose in life. Thank you for those inspiring books, shows and people who inspired you to still be positive in this situation until you finally get there. To the place you really dreamed of.

                  And God is really so good. Before the this year ends, he finally answered it. You finally started to get each pieces of yourselves that you felt unwanted when you are sad. You finally realized, that it is not really the end of time when somethings really can’t get out of your way. But it is an encouragement to continue to fight for you life that you really wish and pray for. You realized as well, that life, maybe short and unpredictable so you should make the best out of it, but you should be careful.

 

                You’ve learned and realized so many things this year; that life is unpredictable so you should be always prepared to what it will served to you; that love maybe comes in the most unexpected time of your life but it is still up to you to pursue it. But most of important thing is that you know, that you are the writer, director and the actor of your own story and you have the power to do what will happened on it next based on you decisions.

  

                And so far, I think, you always do your best on creating it. JOB WELL DONE, SELF!